Today we have Natural vs Artificial Sugar squaring off in the ring (more like the plate). Welcome to the WrestleMania MasterJuice edition. We have brought the fight of the sweeteners to you. First up we have Natural Sugar, he seems pretty lean and healthy with a bristling 6 pack. On the other side we have Artificial Sugar, also known as Processed Sugar. He is huge, in a bad way, well overweight, without the slightest hint of a 6 pack. Before we move to battle, let’s do the pre-match interviews.
1. Natural Sugar Pre-Match Interview
Hello there, pleased to meet you Natural Sugar. Please do tell us about what kind of foods you eat and why? Well, there’s one thing that I always avoid doing. And that is adding sugar to my meals. When I consume sugar, it comes in the form of fruits such as apples and oranges. This way my diet is far more balanced. I ensure that my unrefined sugar is packaged with fiber, antioxidants, vitamins, and disease-fighting phytonutrients. Some foods that I eat include honey, bananas, prunes, and yogurt.
From time to time I consume added sugar (whoops guys, looks like the trash talking is about to begin). I cannot stress just how bad added sugar is for you. Goddamn, just look at Artificial Sugar’s teeth, it’s probably due to all that unrefined white sugar he’s been having. And man, is he overweight or what? Refined sugars can cause obesity and a lot of problems come with that.
2. Artificial Sugar Pre-Match Interview
Hello there, Artificial Sugar, how are you feeling today? Hi there, honestly, I’m not feeling too great. I don’t know what seems to be the problem, it’s probably those root canals I just got done. But man, who cares? I just can’t seem to stop eating these candies and gummies (DISCLAIMER – We do not endorse Artificial Sugar’s views. Refined sugar is addictive and unhealthy). Honestly, I eat just about anything processed, you know? Or else I just simply add sugar, add lots of sugar.
Before tonight’s face-off I had some soda and lots of candy. I feel it gives me a rush that cannot be replaced. Though this rush seems to disappear pretty quick, it seems good for short games like this. Hey there, Natural Sugar, your life seems pretty sweet right now, but wait until you step in the ring with me.
3. The Face-Off
The bell rings and our two fighters approach each other, ready to trade blows. Artificial Sugar goes for a right hook, but he misses! Would you look at that, it appears Natural Sugar is too fast for him. His fitness clearly gives him the edge. Natural Sugar goes for an uppercut, and he hits the bull’s eye! Artificial Sugar is too slow for this. He tries retreating to the ropes. But no avail. Natural Sugar is onto him, with great stamina Natural Sugar continues jabbing him.
What’s happened to Artificial Sugar here? He has fallen apart. We dare say his energy burnt too quick, too soon. Looks like that burst of energy from those candies and gummies is no good and only leads to the excess sugar being stored as fat. He has suffered a sudden energy crash. Artificial Sugar has collapsed. That wraps it up for us folks, next time, bet on Natural Sugar!
Looking for a sugar superstar? Check out Sugar How You Get So Fly.